Finding Gratefulness.

Gratefulness. It’s so hard to write about. So hard to see… even fathom when things seem to be going to awry in your life. Gratefulness is  a challenge to swallow even, especially when things seem to be in the worst place.

 

But you know what? That’s praise at it’s best.

I have considered all the times  I was so down and out and depressed while during my Red Sea Situation and the only thing that made me breathe again was  remembering the wonderful things God did for my soul and brought me out  of the depression. I write this because it’s a praiseworthy statement, not because  I have a point to prove, but long ago, I was really severely depressed. I was in the worst and darkest places of my life. I had peace, but didn’t know it, and I asked God to show me how blessed I was, because I didn’t see it and a few seconds later, it felt like He moved his hand from me, and I experienced  my first EVER panic attack. I began hyperventilating uncontrollably. I really didn’t know I was in such an  anxious state until this incident occurred. In fact, when it did, I  began to be very afraid because I was alone and by myself.  But as a soon as it came, it was only seconds later it stopped and the peace began to flow into my heart again.

I thought to myself… why did that just happen?

I truly wondered if God was trying to speak to my heart. I believe he was. He believe God was speaking to my heart showing me even though I was in a lonely, desperate and  dark place, His hand was still upon my life.

Maybe you don’t have emotions this severe, but my hope is you won’t have to, in order to experience gratefulness. There is something to  find when you dig deep down inside and look for –  in terms of being grateful.

That day, after my panic attack, I  realized I had so many things to be thankful for and I counted each one of them:

- my home

- my  life

- breath to breathe freely and easily

- peace, in the midst of a storm

- loved ones

- a bed to sleep in

- children surrounding me I loved

…and the list goes on….

I have decided I won’t stop writing about it, because as 2012 comes in and departs, One of my greatest objectives has been to  be intentional about being GRATEFUL. Here are  a few highlights I have posted on my Facebook page:

Gratefulness Highlights : February 1, 2012
I am grateful for Tim, my husband.
I am grateful for sisters who blog like this! Marriages are important and must be nurtured http://herfightoffaith.com/day-156-how-to-be-ready-for-your-man/

I love how Tim goes to great lengths to take care of me and make sure I am well.
I love how he likes to have fun.
I love that he likes to sing.

I love that he asks to rub my feet - ( and you believe I say no, sometimes! ) 

I like Tims smile. I love how his face lights up when he laughs.
I love his sense of hope. It’s his greatest asset.
I love his humor.

 

Three things I am grateful for: February 17, 2012
1. DIRECTION. God so gives it when I am lost. I grateful to have a hearing ear. Too many are lost in this world and God helps me find rest in stopping to HEAR and LISTEN to Him and make my rest a priority.
2. I am grateful I have a VOICE. And I do’t have to wait to use it. (What I mean is, when I am troubled, I can find voice, and use it. Either with God or man. And I can find solution and remedy in God , whether man is available or ready or not. I can find peace with God in my soul. And my, is that important. If I can’t talk it over with man, God at least is willing to hear me. Amen.
3. Grateful the diary I WRITE IN ON GRATEFULNESS I left on the plane and traveled to Austin last Saturday was found  and came back to me in the mail today. Hmm.. I am beginning to wonder if this gratefulness thing is BIGGER than me. The Powers that be , allowed it to return to me. One day at a time, people. Take one day at a time. That’s all we can do, when we get overwhelmed. Just take one day and be grateful. Count your blessings.~ J.O.

 

MY Latest Gratefulness Ponderings: February 26, 2012

1.Grateful I can bravely feel my feelings & I often feel elated.
2.Grateful my parents are alive & well.
3. Grateful I can find something to be grateful about when things aren’t ‘pie in the sky’ pretty. ;0)
4.Grateful I am an intercessor.

Grateful highlights – March 11, 2012 :
1.Grateful God was true to His word! He said to write the book and He’d send what I needed.
2. Grateful for friendships & for a chance to meet some of the most awesome people IV ever known & wouldn’t know had I not lived in Md.,TX & Okla.
3. Grateful for the little things: heat, air water…a warm bed. God is good.

Grateful highlights – March 16, 2012 

1.Grateful for this feeling of invigoration! Something about pictures and passion makes me want to SCREAM with excitement!
2. Grateful for stories. I love how  they impact. change lives. read and transform perspectives. dictate. inform. instruct. help. teach. add growth.
3.Grateful for DEEP rest. It’s rejuvenating!
4. Grateful to have a healthy fear of success. It’s new…yet refreshing!
5. Grateful for little people.The make me smile. Every single time.
6. Grateful someone asked me what my dream was today and i could articulate it.
7.Grateful the world stops between 1a.m. and 5 a.m. and  I can LISTEN.

BE grateful today.

Refueling Again.. Part 2

Stories change lives… Don’t think  I didn’t have to SEARCH to find my voice. Before I went half way across the country to  serve, I didn’t realize  my voice could be so influential.

I just want to say I took a very long , arduous journey and painful one, before visiting and speaking to this youth. I had barely lived thru any hardship at all when I saw what she had been through. I thank God for every experience I endured, for the sake of her ability to endure more.

The Gift of Refueling: Part 1

Refueled HOPE. We all have it. We just aren’t often aware. I believe the video speaks for itself,  I don’t have much to say about it other than…DONT give up… Keep hope alive. Pray. Stay supported.  This is my lifetime friend Keneilwe, who spoke with me to African students,  on my trip to Kuma, S. Africa in May of 2003. We had a blast. It was our first day of meeting each other and we appeared to be like sisters, who had  known each other all our lives and taught together for a lifetime.

This was my first time in a classroom of so many youth  in S. Africa who desired to speak and share so much. They inspired me!! Yet endured so much pain. Many of them came from the shantytown community - (poverty ridden shacks) and were noticeably very depressed.

See how empowering it can be to speak and impart hope to souls who feel so lost…

 Stay tuned. I will share a few stories here.

A Matter of Intention.

Sometimes the things we intend – don’t always materialize. Sometimes I wonder if it’s because we often give too much attention to the wrong things. My husband Tim, ( the extrovert) is a deep thinker. Because he is, we tend to have really intense discussions. He is mostly intentional about just about everything he does. It’s very hard to for him to relax in fact – because he often believes he should be doing something to stay busy.

I am also intentional – but not much  in a very “busy” way – I am more of an introvert, so  it’s very hard to discern when I am being intentional about things. We have this discussion often, about what am I thinking ( ?) because he thinks I am daydreaming or just shooting the breeze – when in fact, my mind is filled with a hundred different things at one time, and unless I sit and write some of them down, they will  just disappear.

 I thanks God for Tim, because of the level of intention at which he operates.  I have found my life takes a different turn the more intentional I am about things. I don’t know exactly what i was doing before… but I tell you, things are very good, right now,in my life, and it’s not just because I believed they would be that way, it’s the STEPS I took  in order to make it happen. The steps are critical. This is an awesome  reason reason why I believe its so important to spend time with God.  I used to just think as a believer ( in Christ) , one could just “think” something and” pray something” into happening. But at what point does God want us to “join Him” in the process of seeing  things coming to pass? I believe this is a dilemma every person that wants to please God comes into contact with. I also  believe it’s something that happens consistently.

Sometimes my level of intention can   intimidate others. I just realized this recently. But when you are a “go – getter”, things work differently for you in the universe. I believe  in miracles. So miracles happen, in my life. Sometimes things beyond my imagination. I love this, because here’s the place where God begins to come into my life and help me to fulfill my purpose.

I encourage you today to ask God to help you fill in the gaps – the places in your life where you lack understanding and you just don’t understand what will move your purpose along. Because when you are on track with God, everything else is a piece of cake.  I can accept that for many , this is really hard to believe. Because God is so complex, we often are challenged in our thinking to believe God has best interests for us at all.  Yet there’s scripture to explain this. The word says : we only have 1/4 of the picture anyway… as it pertains to our future.  1 Corinthians 13:12: “we see through a glass dimly, but then, face to face.” I don’t know about you, but I want to see God face to face! ( and sometimes I do – and man oh man, is he beautiful! )  In other words, I want to understand him- as much as He would allow me to, and be eager about my intention to have all He has for me! It’s my inheritance in the Lord, to have such goods stored up for me!