The 4 Unique Steps to Find Your Voice- By Stephen Covey

“One word expresses the pathway to greatness: VOICE.

Those on this path find their voice and inspire others to find theirs. The rest never do.” ~ Stephen R. Covey

The power to discover your voice lies in the potential that was bequeathed you at birth. Latent and undeveloped, the seeds of greatness were planted. You were given magnificent “birth-gifts”-talents, capacities, privileges, intelligences, opportunities-that would remain largely unopened except through your own decision and effort. Open these gifts. Learn what taps your talents and fuels your passion-that rises out of a great need in the world that you feel drawn by conscience to meet-therein lies your voice, your calling, your soul’s code.

Q: How do you define “voice”?

A: Voice is the overlapping of the four parts of our nature: our body, our mind, our heart, and our spirit. These also represent the four intelligences: our IQ for the mind, our EQ for the heart, our SQ for the spirit, and our PQ for the body.

To help you find this, answer these 4 question.

1.   What are you good at? That’s your mind.

2.   What do you love doing? That’s your heart.

3.   What need can you serve? That’s the body.

4.   And finally, what is life asking of you? What gives your life meaning and purpose? What do you feel like you should be doing? In short, what is your conscience directing you to do? That is your spirit.

People are internally motivated by their own four needs: to live, to love, to learn, to leave a legacy. When they overlap, you have voice-your calling, your soul’s code.

Q: Is finding your voice an evolving process, or can it happen all at once like a light bulb going on in your head?

A: I think that it can happen all at once, but more so, I think it is an evolving process. As people grow up, they are exposed to different fields of knowledge and different experiences. They don’t yet know what they’re good at or even what they will like doing. Once they have this exposure and education and they start getting involved, they start to find satisfaction, and that leads to success as it begins to give them a sense of their voice or what they really love doing that they do well. For some people, it does comes like a flash of light, but it is usually preceded by someone who really deeply believes in them-sees their strengths and affirms them when they don’t see their own potential themselves. This creates an opportunity for that voice to be developed and expressed. This happened with me.

Q: Is the process of finding your voice the same for an individual as it is for an organization that is trying to find its voice?

A: That’s a very interesting question and I think in a very real sense, it is the same. But because an organization is made up of many different individuals who have different voices and a different sense of what gives them meaning and their life purpose, it takes communication processes where people are genuine and authentic with each other in expressing what they really care about. However, people gradually get a sense of what the organization stands for, what it loves doing and does well, and what it feels like it should be doing. So, there is kind of a collective form of the four intelligences that overlaps and develops in an evolutionary way.

Q: How can we help someone find his or her voice?

A: I think if you care about people genuinely, you listen to them and observe them; because this is more than just hearing them speak, it is observing them-observing where their excitement is, where their enthusiasm is; observing where you sense they have potential. Sometimes it is very powerful just to say to them in sincerity, “I believe you have great potential in this area. I see real strengths in you that you may not see in yourself, and I would like to create an opportunity for you to use those strengths and to develop this potential. Would you be interested in that?” Most people are so flattered by someone who sincerely cares for them and affirms their work and potential that they are moved and inspired by that kind of input. It’s very powerful and it can make all of the difference, particularly with people who grow up with a confused lifestyle, bad modeling, and basic education. Often they have no clue as to what life is about or what they are about until someone becomes a teacher to them-a mentor, a confirmer, and a coach. This kind of mentoring is becoming increasingly important in education, in relationships, and in work environments. It can make all of the difference as to whether a person takes a higher road to his or her own voice or a lower road to where he or she is swallowed up by the priorities and voices of others.

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The Power of Making Amends…

I don’t teach with my dad often, but I really loved it this one time. We make a good duo.  Several of my family members are teachers from experience. we an teach others by simply being humble enough to make amends to them for our wrongdoing. I remember the day, the hour, the way I felt tremendously renewed and validated by the humbling experience of hearing my dad apologize to me for making the mistakes he made as my father.

My father in a very relaxed state of mind.. a blessing, indeed.

It’s no secret to those who know me that my dad had an alcohol problem for several years. He is now a recovering alcoholic and has been in recovery for about 33 years. ( Yea dad!!)  In about two weeks I will have come full circle as I face the part of my life that once held me hostage. I become a substance abuse/alcoholism therapist. Work with this particular population as social worker,  has always been a sore spot for me. I guess it’s true when they say you have to rid the skeletons out of your closet befor eyou can live freely again.  I have had so many things I had to face personally in my life and overcome in order to accept this task before me today. Low self-esteem,  confusion, hurt and pain and even some abuse in past relationships. Problems making good decisions, c0-dependency issues and issues with my weight – and a host of other things. Now … looking back, I see I have endured these things in my life in order that someone else might benefit.

 Wow… if I  only knew to what degree!

 Now, I look forward to life and embrace it every day because I have overcome these hardships. what do I take away most? I take away my sense of fortitude (my courage and bravery);  my self-confidence is back , and I also have  a strategy for those who  have endured similar hardships.

 I look at my dad today, and I am very proud of  who he has become. I am even prouder that I am who  I am today, and because he changed his life, so God has changed mine.

Selah.

 I had some trouble posting this video, but if you desire to see it and hear more about the power of forgiveness and confession of wrongdoing, just hit the link here….or catch it on the side bar – The Power of Making Amends.

What’s Calling Your Name?

 What’s Calling Your Name?    

I chose this picture because it gives a summit view, in a beautiful place. The things that call your name are set with a beautiful background. They aren’t always  beautiful journeys though, to get there. You have to make a PATH sometimes to get  there.

 I will answer this question for myself: It appears at this moment women, children and families are calling my name. So I serve them.  I have found the people in these groups have lost their voices, yet have loads to say! I can help them.

• The young girls who light up the world and are beams shining in the world.
• The mothers hopeless yet trying to find out their purpose in the midst of raising children,
• The kids who live to know their friends and what they are doing in this life and live lives vicariously through their friends with keen sense of awareness nor identity.
• The women who seek to influence in some way and need to be applauded.
• The lost souls who cry out to God for purpose.
• The little influences seen through the eye of a camera
•  The beach… in all its fullness  – wind, water, and sun.
• My Dad… as he sits in a hospital bed and I pray for him and his longevity of life. ( 8/2010)
• My nieces and nephews their futures and their babies futures.
• To lead women in retreats, conferences, identity, purpose and self-confidence.
• A silent get away like this one at: Lebh-Shomea ( a house of prayer) , in Sarita Texas.
• A new place, a new time, a new mission.
• Africa!! ;0)
•  A retreat for women on how to perfect self-evaluation.
• Motherhood.
• Babies who lack smiles because they have not been loved.
• The sunrises and sunsets of everyday.
• The ability to find my voice with regularity and consistency and helps others find theirs.
• Love, Love and to BE LOVED!!
• Friendships with common passions.
• My daughter(s).
• Red Seas – ( the Book) ~  and its desire to be published!
• My husband… all the time. ;0)
• Oklahoma! ( can ya believe it) 11/2010
• Wounded hearts and families of addiction. 11/2010
• Families to obtain knowledge through my magazine: The Kamau Voice.

 

So… what’s calling your name?

Do you spend time with yourself to hear it resound off the pages of your life?

Do you contemplate over life and living to this degree; preserve them on pages you can eventually return to and reflect?

Anyone with breath to breathe has something important enough to say – how you CHOOSE to say it , is what’s KEY. Anyone with life in their body, has something IMPORTANT TO DO; they need to prioritize their passion.

 Is  what you have to say  important enough for others to consider? What would it take for you to say it??

* ( This is one of my favorite posts! Please comment so I’ll know your’e reading! )

 Continue to return here… you may see this list GROW!

Make’s Story – A Miracle …in S. Africa

In 2003  I went to a shantytown visit in Kuma, South Africa. This day began speaking to youth about their dreams.

There were many beautiful things  happening in this community. Young people were alive and  vigorous and purposed to live out their dreams.   The community people were strong and encouraged through prayer… immensely resilient.

I remember writing in my journal I kept: ”  I fell in love with the young people here!  They are phenomenally bright and vigorous!   I wish I could have stayed with them a an entire day! The youth taught me so much! I hated to leave the schools.”

I  had mixed emotions. My ambivalence went deep. My reticence  filled the car when I saw  huge discrepancies  in the community. On one side of the earth, just outside of Kuma, South Africa – were diamond fields. In yet the other end side ( ride across the road – in fact)  were shanty towns… fields of them… several small huts of tin shacks with holes in them.  This is what you  shall see here in these videos – places people actually called: ‘home’.   As I observed the   fields that day, it seemed that there were maybe even more  tin shacks than diamonds that were in the fields, that day.  I was  informed by my friend Karabo that the  DeBeers family owned all the diamonds in South Africa. ( Read the highlighted link for the history.)

It left me speechless.

That was a long ride home that day. One thing we thought to do for this family, though not quite enough, was to encourage them. We had brought lunch that day, but we couldn’t dare eat  in front of them. So we gave them our lunches. That ride back to Johannesburg was a quiet ride that day after hearing  Make’s story. You will hear in the  video how Make’s name means : Miracle.  (How wonderful! ;0) )

Listen in on it, yourself…

This is how Make‘ survived: the community took care of her and her siblings. It’s called the Spirit of Ubuntu. How the S. Africans care for each other. Whether they are family or not, they make ends meet. Community is FAMILY.  I was so inspired by this principle of living and being  I wanted to bring pieces of it back to the United States.  So I did.  I helped youth at Dr. Martin Luther King School in Syracuse N.Y. build a virtual  cultural museum  during  Black History month and taught the youth – my peer leaders at the time – about community, purpose and dreams. Something resonated  deep within me to see such a spirit of community so very present between people who were neighbors. It’s like  the neighbors  were unctioned by this Spirit of Ubuntu to become families, in a sense. It took community and friendship and kinship bonds to an entirely different level.

We went to encourage Make’ that day… but I think she encouraged us,  more than we could encourage her. Funny how when you reach out God’s hand to bless, you are blessed. Make’ says she believes and has faith “that everything will be fine.” Of course they will… as much as I tried to be angry about the diamonds on the other side of the field, only miles away from Make’…her spirit shined and stayed with me and I was encouraged by her resilience the rest  of that day.    I thought:” maybe it really doesn’t matter who has all the money, maybe true value and worth is found in the  spirit of the community and principled living.”

Peace, in the midst of all this… Amazing, it is. A Miracle.

Why We Distance Ourselves…

I was thinking this morning about what keep us separate from others.

Lies. Misunderstandings. Distrust. Unforgiveness. Hate. Stubbornness. Guilt. (Are  you aware of any more?)

It’s awful, the things that keep us from the people we love. What’s even more painful is the burdens we carry on into relationships that are unresolved and a product of the pain by those we could be loved by. I have counseled many children who are often separated from their parents and  in pain because of it. If you have a child today wo suffers from pain in a relationship you have with them that has caused lots of strife, and you can do something about it, please   reach and bring peace back to them  and honor them in some way. The pain  can forever  harm your heart and theirs. I know there are reasons why parents break up or get divorced. I know some parents or children don’t even want relationships with their children. But if there is a chance they would be responsive,  allow it. Find a mediator. Whether they pay child support or not, whether they are consistent as they should be with payments or not, find the good in the desire to honor them  in some way, so the child does not learn to dishonor people or breed strife.  Remember, the real war is against   the enemy of life. The infamous pain desires to ultimately destroy your  lifeline – generations beyond you; and causes the pain to beome bitterness – deep within their hearts and yours, forever. It’s up to the leader in the families to make sure that these enemies don’t destroy the next generation.

I read this some place and wanted to share it with you the definition of Forgiveness,.

Forgiveness means : giving up resentment against someone else, along with your right to get even, no matter what has been done to you. 

The definition of Unforgiveness is: the deliberate, willful refusal to give up one’s resentment and right to get even, based on the attitude that someone must pay for the wrong done.

I also read this: “You may never forgive if you wait until you “feel like it.” So true. Forgiveness is about  being able to let go of the pain and hurt inflicted upon you so you don’t continue to carry the burden of pain  in your life and learn how to release. Learning how o “release” can indeed be a lifelong lesson and practice. The more we learn how to practice it, the more we are able to live freely and pass on this baton of hope.

If you have a heart out there you have  intentionally harmed or you are confused about a relationship or actin from the past – don’t choose to stay in unforgiveness about it, don’t allow the animosity eat you up. You are worth so much more. I hate how the enemy of our souls ( our mind, will and emotions)  keeps us separate from our families. Let God help you through this tremendously hard process.  Get a counselor or a neutral third party to help intervene and assist you towards resolve. Get some help. It could make you a better person and restore emotional  health to your family.

For more information on forgiveness go to this link.

Freedom.

 Inspired by thoughts of the Fourth of July, my sister and I were talking recently and sharing about liberation. We were talking about black hair and how it has evolved overtime. She recently just went all naturale–and she is starting a revolution!  For her,  its been an interesting journey - one of  great confidence for her. She credits a group called Expressive Voices,  ( <a href=”http://www.expressivevoice.com“>www.expressivevoices.com)  – but I believe it only helped her have enough courage to do it and take some risks!

Say it Loud….I’m Black and I’m Proud! That’s what the sixties brought in and helped others to find their voices… a people were empowered through unity. I was empowered, as well when I was a child by just the smallest things. I think of my sister’s looks here, and am  reminded of the times when  we were growing up and  I used to take such pride in seeing my sister “do her do” in the bathroom mirror. Both she and my brother would take time and sit sometimes hours  ( it seemed) in the mirror to make sure they got the perfect “fro” down… smile. It reminds me of the places where pride arose in me, back in the day.

An Afro was something I could never quite get strong enough. I had very fine hair and it just wasn’t common for me to have one as a child. My mom ( God bless her generous heart) would let me wear my hair “wild and free” in the house, but I couldn’t go any further than the porch in order to show off what I had. ( Smile)  

Liberation strikes up confidence and confidence gives us Freedom. Selah.

 

Here’s a pic of my sis  ( and me ) …. rockin’ our pride!